Always on duty.

My heart has been broken. I am not the first and won't be last.

I do like to try on my rose-tinted glasses from time to time but they no longer fit. One lense in missing in battle and the other is cracked and scratched. There is Selotape around the middle and they are dusty from lack of use.

To once again view the world through these filters would be glorious. To have the innocence of youth. So trusting, so naive. So beautifuly optimistic. My glasses now only seem to magnify every single detail. Jaded and weary.

We all remember pearls of wisdom given to us as chidren growing up in the world. I never listened. I knew they were trying to help but most of their stories were quite awful. Who wants to listen to that? Now that I am the grown-up with pearls of wisdom of my own, will my own children listen? Can I somehow save them from any future hurts by recounting my own past like terrible warnings?

Mowgli really wanted a motorbike when he grows up. I conditioned him into believing they were utter death traps ridden only by fool hardy youths who have no care for themselves or other road users. We saw a motorbike whoosh past yesterday and he turned and said 'I don't want a motorbike because then I will die and I never want to leave you.' It broke my heart.

At the very essence of my life as a parent, I just want my kids to be happy. If jumping out of a plane or riding a motorbike does this, so be it. It is all about learning to let go someday.

What if someone is careless with their feelings or wreckless with their hearts? It is frustrating to know that they have to find all of this out on their own. I can only give them the tools to prepare them. Confidence to make or break friendships, spirit to live their lives out of the shadows, love to heal their wounded hearts.

Being a parent is the hardest job to get right. There can be no training for this relentless task. They do not care if you have had a long day, crap day, tiring day or hungover day. Their needs are apparent from the moment they wake until the moment they sleep.

It is then we gaze upon their messy bed hair and brush it away from their face. Crouched close to them, kissing their foreheads, breathing in their scent and smiling at the wonder of parenthood. Always on duty.

Zero Tolerance.

Kerry Katona shuts down Twitter page following abuse.

http://news.uk.msn.com/entertainment/article.aspx?cp-documentid=16795190


I cannot stand bullying.

What is it that makes a person better themselves by putting another through mental or physical anguish?



Here is a story.

I was friends for many years with someone who was bullied mercilessly at school. Spat on, punched, verbally abused and obstracised from her peers. Sobbing every night. Eventually having to move schools. This was a girl of 13.

TERRIBLE!

At what age do people exhibit these tendencies? Is it nature or nurture?


Anyhow, I was seemed to know this person who bullied my friend. She was part of a social group of mummies from toddler groups. I was astounded! When approached about it, the bully had no recollection of these incidents. She scarred and shaped somone's live forever with no recollection? How shameful.

I felt so strongly about this, I ceased contact. I just counld not understand how someone could do such a thing and not even remember.

We all have done things in our lives that we regret. Given the chance I am confident we would all face up to past hurts and acknowledged our part we played.

Maybe this only comes with strength of character or strong morals.

Is that nurture or nature?



Children live what they learn by Dorothy Law Nolte.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.


I wonder what the nest generation will be like?

'Sliding Doors' moment.

I loved that film.

The film follows the life of Helen Quilley (Gwyneth Paltrow), who is fired from her public relations job. The film's plot splits into two parallel universes which run in tandem. In one universe, Helen manages to catch a London Underground train home on time, and in the other she misses it.

In the first scenario, she gets home in time to catch her boyfriend Gerry (John Lynch) red-handed with his ex-girlfriend Lydia (Jeanne Tripplehorn); she promptly dumps him, and meets (and falls in love with) a new man James (John Hannah). Helen met James on the underground, where he engages in discussion with her, including references to pop culture icons like the Beatles and Monty Python.

In the second scenario, she misses the train and tries to catch a cab. While hailing a taxi, Helen falls victim to an attempted mugging. Helen hits her head in the scuffle and is taken to the hospital. She arrives home late, giving Lydia time to leave.

Wonderful premise that begs the question: when was my sliding doors moment?

Was it when I left home at the age of 22 to move in with a man who would then become the father of my kids, my husband and eventually leave me for a younger work colleague?

Was it realising my feelings for Mr Tall after months of holding him at arms length for fear of falling in love again?

Delving deeper, we can all look to any major occurance in our lives and realise we have many 'sliding doors' moments. Are these seen as wistful 'if only's'?

Truth is, what happens to us builds our character into however we choose. Stronger, jaded, happier, bitter etc. We can all wistfully stare into our pasts and wonder if the hand dealt was fair or not.

It is how we choose to learn from each and every 'sliding doors' moment that defines us.

When was yours?