Destiny.

Wow. What a title.

What is our destiny? What if we had the ability to see what becomes of us? Would we change any parts, be it good or bad, if ultimately it led to a different ending?

Are we destined to be reminded of things when we least expect it?

I went shopping today to hunt for costume ideas for Mowgli. He is going to school tomorrow dressed as 'Cat in the Hat.' God bless Book Week. Whilst shopping, I saw some ties on a rack. 'Thank god I don't have to look for ties anymore' I thought to myself and then stopped. Why did that thought HAVE to pop in my head?

When my ex-husband left, I gathered EVERYTHING that reminded me of him and our life together and put them in two huge boxes. Ther were full of pictures, notes, cards and other momentos from 7 years together. These were then stored high in a cupboard to be dealt with when I was ready. You see, I didn't want to be piecing my life back together only to find a note he wrote or a cup he bought me. I was very thorough. It was my coping mechanism and like Bobby Brown, my perogative.

A good line from a film called 'Under the Tuscan Sun'

"Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know."

Well, like it says, it should kill you instantly but it doesn't. You survive. You get up, dust yourself down and get on with it. No time to wallow with a 5 year old and brand new baby. They were my reason to go on, to get up, to move on. Many women have and are going through exactly what I was. It is always good for me to put this into perspective. I was lucky to have an excellent support network of family and friends. Some are not so lucky. When all around you is darkness, you need to be sure the people around you guide you to the correct exit.

I am also very lucky to have found Mr Tall. He is my knight in shining armour and together we face the world as an army of two.

Can we erase memories? No but we can create new ones. Record over used tapes. Easier said than done but it is possible.

What became of the boxes? After a few months, I had a jolly evening in the very good company of a cheeky bottle of red wine shredding it all. At one point, the shredder over-heated with the sheer volume! No more visual memories to remind me.

Now it is time to record over my tapes.